Sunday, November 23, 2008

Women Who Inspire


Lately I am feeling so proud of the women in my life.


I have one girlfriend who is the definition of a servant. She can serve tirelessly and ENJOY it. She takes on extra, all night shifts at work to help someone in need. She is an amazing mom and wife. She is constantly ministering to her family. She works hard in her community. The best part - she is constantly uncovering truth and holiness and love. She has taught me endurance.


I have another girlfriend whose marriage was over. She had finally come to the end of every option. And then God did something she has been waiting for for 10 years - he broke through. SOMEHOW things are healthier and fuller than ever before. She has been faithfully surrendering every fear and obstacle to Jesus. She has taught me strength.


I have yet another girlfriend whose marriage had also come to a breaking point. She is the kind of woman who speaks her heart well and loud. She wrestled and struggled and battled... and then, one night, heard the whisper of Jesus. She broke. She turned. She waited. At the same time her husband was breaking. Reconciliation never looked so sweet. She has taught me to speak without fear.


And there is my cousin. She is, undeniably, the most sensitive, compassionate woman I have ever known. She is articulate and speaks with thought behind her words. As she puts it, she has walked around with a big hole for a long time. And last night, I watched the beauty of her heart, her life, her purpose come alive. She experienced something authentic. She wrestled with God. And when God touched her she was instantly changed. Years of praying for her freedom came to a beautiful moment where she was transformed by the love that redeems us. She has taught me to dig deep into the love of Jesus and find all of humanity resting there.


My grandma. This is the first time in my life that I have lived so close to her. She has always been the most interesting woman I know. She has confidence like Katherine Hepburn and she carries herself like a woman from a black and white movie. Every conversation we have reveals an intensely beautiful woman. When I see her, listen to her, think of her, my heart swells with pride. She has taught me that strong women can be elegant women.


My mama. She is strong and brave and deep. She has always, always, always lived in truth and humility. It is just recently that her vulnerability has become apparent to me. She quit her job to engage in the ministry that she and my dad have been serving in their entire lives... the ministry of living life. She is helping my grandma, counseling, running her own home (which is FULL of people all the time), and playing with my kids Sometimes, I still walk into her house early in the morning and find her sitting quietly with Jesus in the same quietness I have found her in my entire life. She has taught me stillness... and much much more.


And my mother in law. She is always helping, always engaging, always pouring out. She is full of courage and has a unique ability to rise above her circumstances. Recently I have watched her come alive. She is finding herself again and I think we have all breathed a sigh of relief. She is vibrant and full of life. She has taught me how to embrace my circumstances.


These are the women who are paving the way into a new definition of women. These women are changing the way I see womanhood, changing the way I see my role. Aren't we ALL constantly searching for the place we fit; for the part we play?


If not for a community of women to encourage and challenge us, we would be lost. There are countless more women who inspire me all the time. I would have to write a book to tell you about every one of them and how they have changed me.


Who has challenged you, inspired you, created hope and hunger in you? I encourage you to think of the women who have defined "woman" for you. Think of the women who have lived lives of beauty, of struggle and victory. Think of the women who have conquered the role laid out for them. Think of the women who have made a way for us all to be found free and strong.


Find a way to acknowledge them. Find a way to thank them. Even find a way to thank God for the gift of relationships.
This is MY way of saying thank you to every woman I know. This is my way of acknowledging your pursuit of truth and freedom.
Pure grace and nothing but grace to you....

Monday, November 17, 2008

Love Is In The Action


This is one of those seasons in life when God is so clearly speaking.... and I am so clearly distracted.

Most nights I end up kicking myself because I've missed it.

Everywhere I turn the Spirit is whispering, revealing a fresh breath of life.


This is the first quiet, reflective moment I have had in weeks.
This is the first time I've grabbed hold of silence and chosen to be internal, rather than external.
I've been busy and distracted and stubborn.

Here is proof:

A few months ago one of my closest friendships ended.
It was ugly and painful. We both lost a lot in one conversation. We lost family and support and years of friendship. We also lost unhealthy patterns and frustration and a destructive silence.

Last week I saw her and was very surprised to learn that I felt nothing but love for her. I had expected resentment, defensiveness... maybe even anger.


Nope.


Not even a moment of anything but love...


Which made me a little freaked out.


I started trying to create bitterness towards her.
I tried to think of things that would make me angry at her.... it's not like I didn't have enough ammunition...

And then I saw her again, a few days later.


Still... love.


Here is where my stubbornness creeps in...


I heard the Spirit stirring and whispering in me.
So simple... "Go ask her if she needs help".

Nope.

Not gonna happen.


I actually HEARD God moving me forward and I was screaming back at Him, "NO!"


Then, with a single question, my selfish resolve crumbled.


My stubborn resistance shattered.


"What do you have to lose but your own self?"


So I stood up, shook off my fear and walked out of the room to where she was.


I asked her.


She said no.


For a moment we made eye contact and my heart broke.


I went back into the room...


And was flooded with truth, peace... revelation...


Why do I resist God?


Why do I think that poison and bitterness will protect me?


Is there ANYTHING in the Bible that tells us to build up strong walls around our hearts to keep people from hurting us?


What made me think that I was safe?


The next day I read 1 John 3:18.


"Dear Children, let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions and in truth."


The Bible is overflowing with words about love... love protects us, covers our sin, frees us from fear, rescues us, redeems us...


But love is more than words. If we just talk about it then we are empty ... "a banging gong or a clanging cymbal".


Love has to be LIVED.


Love has to be in our actions.


Love has to be in the truth that surrounds us and saturates us.


I feel like today I am closing a door.

The last few months have been overwhelming.

I have been selfish and cold.


I've allowed myself to be distracted by everything.


But this morning, I can say that all this time God has been working something deep and
profound in me.


I have been wrestling with God.


And I am leaving this place changed... different.


Because everywhere I turn love is being spoken; the message of truth is sinking into my life, no matter how hard I fight it.


I am learning something new.


I can love people, taking hold of the gift of being free from resentment and anger.


I can hope for reconciliation... not restoration of friendship necessarily, but reconciliation of peace.


So, thank you, Jesus!
I don't love revealing my flesh, but i DO love revealing your mercy!