Unbreakable

In my short lifetime I have seen countless women abused in a slow, "acceptable" way.

Women as a whole are laughed at, brushed aside, considered "too emotional" and therefore, women are insignificant.

Some women are married to men who humiliate them in public by putting them in their place the moment they open their mouths.

Some women have only dated angry, aggressive and arrogant men because those men are FAMILIAR and they don't know any other way.

Some women spend their entire married lives with someone who has no interest in really knowing them at all.

Some women are told (and so believe) that their "job" is to serve their husbands; to make sure they are content and loved and relaxed.

These are lives of desperation.

Because women are beautifully fragile.

Women are born with a passion for beauty, for intimacy, and for creation.

Clearly, women don't all think the same, or look the same, or have the same dreams.

But ALL women have a soul of glass.

Women exist to be radiantly known.

Women are fulfilled when the contents of their inner beings are seen and loved.

Women are healed when they are allowed to live free and safe, without fear of being rejected when their hearts are exposed.

I don't mean to make it sound like women are weak. Women are anything BUT weak.

Every woman I have EVER known has an intense amount of strength and endurance. I think that women can bear up under the weight of rejection with more strength and dignity than any man.

Women are resilient.

I realize that I am writing this as if every woman in the world fits neatly into this little box that I've created.

But that's not my point at all!

Women are built with a common heart, something that connects us all. As a whole, we are somehow all the same.

We are wonderfully different, making up a beautiful field of growth and creation. But we are all in the same field.

If you're wondering, this IS personal for me.

I AM one of those women.

I have spent my heart on men who tossed me aside when I got too complicated.

I have dated abusive men.

I have dated cold and distant men.

I have been condescended to.

I have been shut down.

I have been lied to.

I have been despised, just for being a woman.

And, although my husband is NOT one of those men, I have suffered in my marriage.

I have been ignored.

I have been treated like I am invisible and irritating.

I have been cheated on.

I have been lied to.

I have been crushed by the expectation that I should just move on... get past "it".

I have been left alone, wondering what the hell is wrong with me.

I have spent hours... weeks... counting every single flaw in me.

I have listened to apologies that never actually take root.

I have been blamed for things I had nothing to do with.

Really.... tonight I am just sitting here so aware of how fragile I am.

And how beautiful that is.

Because as delicate and transparent my soul is, no one has shattered it.

I have put everything I have in front of people who have kicked it aside over and over and over again.

I'm still intact.

Were they right?

Never.

But do they define me?

Never.

I watched Rob Bell's video Everything Is Spiritual today and something in it reminded me that I am not really invisible, misunderstood and rejected.

Because God... who cannot even be DEFINED or KNOWN... has made me so fragile and delicate and different because he LIKES things that way.

HE connects to the core of me.

He wraps himself around my glass soul and he makes me unbreakable.