Whatever Is Ahead

I don't want to live extravagantly or selfishly.

I just want a life of peace .... freedom.

I want to float in a cool pool and watch soft clouds slip past me.

I want to eat fresh and satisfying food all day long.

I want to play with my kids in perfect weather.

I want to lay in the grass during a rainstorm, face to the sky, just to feel the massive weight of heavy rain all around me.

I want to photograph strange and beautiful things, knowing that they aren't mine to hold or keep - only perfect moments of heaven slipping through the veil of life.

I want to love so deeply it consumes me.

And I want to be loved so deeply it heals me.

I want to hike mountains and soak in oceans.

I want to touch unfamiliar faces and feel as if I've known and loved them forever.

I want to have that dreamlike sensation of flying over unending fields of long grass and fragrant flowers.

I want to listen to the kind of music that penetrates my soul and lifts me up over the weighted feeling of uncertainty.

I want to gently walk over pieces of earth that are somehow holier than others, imagining the ancient feet of God pressing into that same earth- imprinting it forever.

I wonder if, when I enter eternity - soft and full like a perfect, complete returning to what is right and whole - I will still want these things.

Maybe they will become simple, shadowy memories of a life almost forgotten.

Or maybe they will be fulfilled in every breathtaking second of real life.

Maybe, even now, my unbound soul is experiencing what is ahead of us all and is joyfully bleeding a purposeful hope into my frail heart.