Almost There

I had my 30 week check up with my midwife yesterday. Have I mentioned how much I love her?

This entire pregnancy has been a journey of processing, uncovering and healing. Birth is not just a physical experience. It is so entirely spiritual. I've experienced the effects of spiritual blockage in childbirth (aka 24 hours of stop and go labor and a little post traumatic stress), and I am now so aware of the importance of freedom and peace throughout these 10 months.

Now that I am nearing the end I've started to think about what I want my birth experience to be like. This is my first homebirth and I am SO excited about the idea of being in my own space, surrounded by my family and close friends. I love the idea that my children will participate in the birth of their sister. I love that I won't be caged up in a hospital room for 3 days - missing my babies like crazy! I love that my midwife insists that I be nourished and rested for the actual birth. I love that there will be a pool of warm water in my bedroom to ease the discomfort of labor. I love that my husband has entered into my life in new and deep ways. I love that I won't be alone.

I'm really looking forward to Daisy's birth. I'm not feeling anxious for her to just get out. I'm not feeling even a hint of fear. I'm just excited. I remember the pain of contractions. I remember the helplessness of pushing. But what I remember the most is the sorrow of feeling abandoned while trying to produce life. And that sorrow is in the past. It is over. It's gone.

Daisy is coming into a new family. She is entering into the free-est space we've ever been in. She is coming into our lives like a fresh, new wave of joy. We are so happy to welcome her into our family. It seems like Daisy is bringing a new season with her.

This is a time of preparation. We are getting things ready, expectantly preparing for her arrival. It's good. :)