I'm not much for New Year's Resolutions. I never make them... and if I DID I would never keep them. I like life to take it's own course. So, although I have an intention for the year ahead of me, it is a fluid one. I have a sense of what God is speaking to me and I want to follow that sense to the ocean of his grace.
I'm looking for a clean start; for a deep shifting and a rebalancing. Because it just felt good to do it - I've started a whole new blog. Please come follow and comment and engage!!! I probably won't be adding to this blog much more, but I'll still keep it up, because someday I might want to come back to it. :)
Love, peace and JOY.
Stephanie

http://alongthelittleway.wordpress.com/2011/02/01/for-the-love-of-living/

For the Sake of Daisy

First Aravis came home with a virus. She had a slight fever which turned into a runny nose and a super sore throat.

Then Judah caught the virus.

And then both Joe and I caught the virus.

And we THOUGHT Daisy joined the ranks of virus misery.

Strangely (and thankfully) Daisy never had a fever, but it was sad (and scary) to listen to her little congested nose snore through the night.

So we propped her up slightly with a pillow while she slept and used a saline spray and a nose sucker to keep her nose clear. We took her in the bathroom when we took showers to let the steam work it's magic and we kept a close watch on her temp. She threw up a few times and was generally cranky. She had green poopies and a rash all over her face, head and chest.

Then we noticed that Daisy was miserable from about 4pm until she finally screamed herself to sleep around 8pm. My mom suggested the possibility that Daisy was colicky, so I googled away. It made sense - so we got some Gripe Water. That stuff is from HEAVEN. Yes, it works.

Daisy has been so, so gassy and apparently colic can be a reaction to something the breastfeeding mama is eating. The most common irritant is dairy and I'm a vegan. Obviously, not a dairy problem.

In looking back on what I've been eating lately I realized that I've been eating A LOT of wheat. I mean a LOT of wheat.

Pasta, bread, crackers... you name it.

So, I searched around for food irritants in breastfed babies. Seriously - the symptoms are rash, vomiting, diarrhea (or green poop), gas, congestion, irritability...

So, I've been on an elimination diet. I've cut out any possible irritants: wheat, tomatoes, corn, broccoli, cauliflower, peanuts, soy, spinach. I'm eating a lot of rice, potatoes, green smoothies and beans (I know beans seems a little risky, but I've been assured that they are okay). Can I tell you how BLAND my food life is this week? But one look at that rashy, screaming baby and I'd cut out all solids if it would give her relief.

I woke up this morning with a sense that something had changed for Daisy and, no joke, she has been a happy, happy baby all day. She still has a slight rash and she's still a little gassy, but she has been smiling, eating and sleeping with no problem. And it's 5:30pm. We'll see how bedtime goes.

To all you mamas with colicky babies, my heart goes out to you. To all you mamas with babies with food intolerances, my stomach grumbles with you. Oh, the things we do out of love for our little ones.

I'm With You Johnny....

I read an interview with Johnny Depp the other day while getting a pedicure with my big girl. The interviewer asked him who he wanted to meet. Johnny replied, "God. I want to smoke a cigarette with God."

Now, Johnny Depp being who he is, this response is particularly fascinating. He's clearly a free spirit and a phenomenal actor (who ISN'T in love with Jack Sparrow?). He also seems to be an intensely private person. The man lives on an ISLAND with his family for goodness sake!

It seems like Johnny Depp would be completely comfortable sitting on a front porch, feet kicked up on the porch rail, smoking a cigarette with God while discussing all of the sorrowful, unanswered, desperate things human beings experience.

And that makes me think of something Shane Hipps said once....

{Behind the locked doors of our lives...} "There nestled in among the shame, sin, sickness and sorrow is the Creator of the Universe relaxed and at home. Not the least bit offended, surprised or fearful."

I understand that, for some, the first response to the idea of Jesus being relaxed and at home in our ugliest spaces is appalling. I remember a time in my life when I would have raged against the idea of Jesus entering our darkness to fish us out. It had seemed unthinkable. I would have said firmly, "Not God. God is HOLY. Holy doesn't enter into unholiness."

I would have felt sorry for anyone who was so disillusioned and, clearly, SO wrong.

But I get it now. Johnny Depp's words resonate with me. His desire to sit, naturally and comfortably, with the God who offers comfort and redemption to every single human being speaks to my own heart's ache. I want to smoke a cigarette with God too. I want to open up the deepest recesses of my heart - the places that are filled with shame, sin, sickness and sorrow - without fear of being scorned or rejected.

Because isn't that the point of Jesus surrendering to the cross? Isn't that EXACTLY what he was doing? Jesus took on every single sliver of sin and flesh and human sadness to heal us. That means he ENTERED IN. That means the HOLY GOD walked straight into what was UNHOLY and made himself at home.

I know. It sounds wrong somehow right? All that felt-board theology we grew up with seems to push against the grain of everything this suggests. Our limited brains can't reconcile a holy God entering into anything unholy. Especially since we KNOW that light and darkness can't live together. They can't mingle. And that's my point exactly. Jesus, the light of the world, enters into our darkness and we are slowly and certainly set on fire. Our internal darkness becomes a blazing fire. We who were once in darkness are flooded with light.

But first He enters in. He doesn't stand on the front lawn demanding that we put out that cigarette and get it together before he'll sit down with us. He's bigger than that. Jesus, because of the cross, steps over the threshold and sits down next to us. Everything we encounter from there on out is holy. It's holy because we are in his presence and he has no need to bend to our rules. Whatever we've decided makes us unworthy of his presence becomes the very gateway to the Creator.

He knows no limits. Thank God. There would be no hope for those of us who over eat, smoke cigarettes, drink too much, make ourselves throw up, lie, swear, covet, greedily store up our "stuff", dishonor one another, look at pornography, harbor anger and resentment, gossip, yell at our kids....

Johnny Depp, you have no idea how real, personal and overflowing with hope your desire is. I pray you get to do it.