Balance

I

Need

Balance.

I come back to this over and over and over again.

Last year, around this time, I became so aware of how OUT of balance I was; physically, spiritually, emotionally.

My entire life was standing on it's tiptoes on a single pole, in the middle of a muddy lake.

One twitch or sneeze and I would lose my balance completely and plunge into the dirty depths.

So, I sought out wholeness and peace in every way I could think of.

I started a raw vegan diet.

I exercised more.

I MADE time to be still and quiet in the presence of the Lord.

I dove into my yoga practice.

I cultivated community.

And, eventually, I found my balance.

I stopped swaying in the slight breeze and found myself sturdy and strong.

Lately, I have noticed myself teetering again.

It's not so extreme this time.

I may have even missed it if I weren't SO aware of my NEED for Jesus right now.

I keep thinking that I need to step back from myself a little bit and reevaluate the way I am living.

I need more rest.

More peace.

More movement.

More worship.

Much more awareness of what I am eating.

Anxiety needs to die.

Pure and simple; it needs to die.

Alisa's class this morning was about anxiety....

Six words... "Do not be anxious about anything..."

That brings it all together.

Balance is about trusting where you are standing; rooted down through your feet and upward lifting.

Balance is a drawing together of all of your energy towards the center of your body.

So, in seeking balance, anxiety only throws me off.

The more I think about GETTING IT RIGHT, the more likely I am to fall flat on my face.

My heart's desire is to be completely, fiercely, overflowingly whole.

Nothing less than that will satisfy.

So, Jesus....

Balance me.

Strip away my striving and weak attempts to BE.

Remind me to lift my toes and root down.

Remind me to surrender to the upward lifting of the Spirit.

Cut the cords of gravity that are tugging on every limb.

Peace. Wholeness. Balance. Free...