Time

A few months ago I was having no problem visualizing Daisy's birth. I dreamed about it, thought about it and prayed about it. It seemed like the most natural and easily accomplished thing I would ever do.

And then I hit 38 weeks. I suddenly could not imagine her ACTUALLY coming out (as you may have noticed from my previous posts). I've been wrestling to visualize her descent and exit. Nothing.

Did I mention I've been in early labor for almost three days? Sigh.

But last night, for some reason, I was able to picture the birth. Something shifted for me and I could finally imagine Daisy being born.

Nothing else has really changed since then, other than an increase in the physical feeling of pressure in my body. I'm still having contractions spaced out too far to be active labor. I'm still slowly journeying towards holding my baby. But I feel lighter - like I've passed an emotional block. I don't know what caused it and I don't know what enabled me to overcome it, but I'm done feeling discouraged (for now :)). I know that Daisy IS coming. If it takes a week of early labor to get her (and me) to the place where she can finally trade womb for world then it's worth it.

Every baby is born differently. Some come quickly, some come slowly. Some come with no difficulty and some come at a price. Every birth, for both the baby and the mama, is significant and powerful. I'm starting to relinquish my need to GET HER OUT. Long early labor or not, my baby is making her way into the world. And I'm pretty sure this won't be the last time I need to exercise patience in my love for Daisy Belle.