Sparklers

I am feeling this constant stirring....

Like something is gently tugging on my soul.

My feet keep walking one way; I'm still living my life like I normally do, but something is speaking - pulling my heart somewhere else.

Old and earthy words. Truth radiating from every syllable. Hunger is replacing every one of my senses.

Not a physical hunger, but a deep, soul-throbbing hunger.

And I just want to cry. All the time.

Not because I'm sad. Mostly, I'm not sad.

I just want to cry. I am suddenly so aware of my inner existence. Everything that is spiritual seems to have sparked.

I am surrounded by brilliant, fiery, tiny flames. It's the fourth of July inside of me and the Spirit is waving multi-colored sparklers....

Everything is new.

And I haven't done anything. I've THOUGHT about meditation. I've prayed the Jesus prayer twice. I've been sitting with, combing over, and running my fingers over the old practices of the Desert Fathers. But I haven't done anything.

Songs bring me to tears.

Stories of people being saved, loved and set free send shudders of joy through my soul.

Aaahh.

Jesus is happening. My inner defenses and excuses are crumbling in the sudden and consuming light of day.

And, again, it isn't my work. There is no formula to being good enough, free enough, holy enough.

There is only an inner intention - a decision to be His.

Which means that the act of a spiritual discipline is not exhausting.

It is exhilarating. It is powerful. It is illuminating....

And I am so certain that I am only sitting on the very surface of His depths.