Although Daisy is my third baby I am definitely feeling much more educated and prepared for her birth - and for parenting all three of my kids after her birth. I've developed a giant addiction for natural parenting blogs and websites. It's where I spend my free time :)
When Aravis was born I instinctively wanted to co-sleep (not even knowing it was a "thing"), breastfeed and make my own decisions regarding vaccinations. I didn't know anyone who had these same instincts and I almost felt like I needed to hide the fact that I hadn't put her on a feeding/sleeping schedule or gotten her vaccinated. I felt a lot of pressure to feed her solids early on, but truly felt like breast milk was doing the job. I was a vegetarian, but felt guilty for not feeding her meat - the whole world seemed to be going in the opposite direction!
As a result I wavered on some things that I had honestly felt were deeply important. I fed her chicken after her first birthday and I forced myself to let her sleep some nights in a pack n play in her own room. I didn't make these decisions because I felt they were best for her - I made them because I felt like I was somehow a bad mom if I didn't.
By the time Judah was born I was a little more aware of the alternate parenting world. Thanks to the Internet I was able to read about other parent's experiences with co-sleeping, not vaccinating and attachment parenting. Judah was a different breed of baby and didn't actually LIKE sleeping in our bed. He wanted to stretch out, unhindered. So, we set up the bassinet right next to our bed and that is where he slept for the first year of his life. Breastfeeding at night was still relatively easy because he was within arm's reach and I never had to worry about whether or not he was breathing.
However, the circumstances of our lives and our marriage were hellish and I had 6 breast infections within the first 5 months of his life. I weighed the options, realizing that I couldn't even function well enough to take care of my two kids and weaned Judah onto formula. I researched every kind of formula on the market and went with the lesser evil. It was incredibly expensive and really discouraging for me to give up yet another conviction towards natural parenting. Judah had multiple allergies and it took him a long time (and lots of vitamin d, grapefruit seed extract and elderberry) to work it out of his system.
I had also become a vegan around the time I had Judah and THIS TIME I was determined to not feed my kids meat or dairy. My husband was worried that Judah would be a small weakling if he didn't get "enough" protein in his diet, but agreed to try it. He was admittedly shocked by our robust, strong little vegan tank. And I am so thankful that I didn't give into the pressure to feed him the way everyone else was feeding their kids. Judah will choose a carrot stick over a piece of chocolate any day. He is adventurous and always willing to try new foods. He loves vegetables and beans and brown rice. And he is oh so healthy.
Aravis is another story - she only wants pasta, bread or sugar. It's a daily battle to get nutritious, healthy food in her belly. It makes me truly believe that what you start your children out with will shape what they are drawn to for the rest of their lives.
Along the way I've made decisions that I wasn't comfortable with - only to conform to the world around me. I've learned that those decisions didn't actually benefit any of us. They only made us more socially acceptable. These days I'm not so concerned with being socially acceptable. I'd rather be comfortable with the way I am raising my kids. I'd much rather do what I know is best for the individual human beings who are relying on me for their nourishment, health, acceptance and safety. I want to know that I did right by my kids. I want to know that I did my very best to raise them to do what is right for them - without being afraid of what other people will think of their choices. My kids are my priority. My kids are my life.
So, now that I am getting ready to add Daisy to our family, I am researching my birth options, diapering options, baby wearing, breastfeeding and co sleeping options. I am finding so much peace in just parenting MY way. I love to read about other people's experiences. I love to know that I am not the only weird parent out there. :)
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