Movement

“Jesus said, ‘You’re tied down to the mundane; I’m in touch with what is beyond your horizons. You live in terms of what you see and touch. I’m living on other terms. I told you that you were missing God in all this. You’re at a dead end. If you won’t believe I am who I say I am, you’re at the dead end of sins. You’re missing God in your lives.”
John 8:23-30 MSG


I’ve been a little panicked.

I have five days of Bible study to write in less than a month.... and I just haven’t done it.

I have one day almost ready to go.

That’s it.

I am too busy, too tired, too unmotivated.

I think about it constantly, trying to convince myself to tear away from my life for an hour to just DO IT!.

Don’t get me wrong - I want to do this. I am soooo looking forward to teaching Jesus at this retreat.

I’m just wrestling with ME.

I’ve been wondering what is standing in my way - why am I not jumping in to the beautiful waves of discovery?

This morning went all wrong. I woke up with raging hormones. I was crying, angry, bloated. Being a female has it’s downside...

Although, looking back, I can see that God stood in my way. He was redirecting me.

So, I pawned my kids off on my dad and rolled out my mat. I made it about two minutes before I was laying on my face, crying. Ah, holy yoga. Things get stirred up; broken to pieces. I found myself anguishing over a dream I had last night.

Sometimes dreams mean something. Not always. But sometimes.

This dream meant something. This dream meant that I was grieving over a lost friendship. This dream meant that it was time to do something. This dream called for movement. This dream was an incredibly holy and painful dream.

This dream meant that I needed to process something I didn’t want to process.

Sigh.

Still processing.

But I did something about it. I stepped out on a shaky limb, totally determined to act in love alone. love. love love.

After that, I opened the file labeled “Jesus the Son”. Day Two, here we go!

I wasn’t writing, or moving forward, because God was stirring something profound inside of me. I was wrestling with my humanity. I was living as if this life were IT. I needed to be reminded that real life is yet to be tasted.

And LOVE is the salt in eternal life. It is the flavor that beckons us.